life, Uncategorized

SELFISH ACT OF HAPPINESS

She apprehensively asked me” Hundred for All?”

This is what happened.

Today evening after a some shopping and feeding myself some panipuris followed by piping hot fried momo finishing with Rabri jalebi I started to return home.

I had stepped out today thinking it will perhaps bring some joy to my heart but all I felt in the end was Guilt.

Where I have easily spend a few of thousand of rupees on buying things I didn’t really need I could see people by the roadside trying to sell balloons and toys to people like me.

I thought I would get them some food or money but as I passed them as I expected one of them to approach me to buy something or for some money and I would give them some and feel happy about doing something good but no one did and I hesitated to give them money wondering if It would offend them.

They were few men ,women and children wearing tattered clothes and sitting on the dirt but still laughing and chatting and doing their chores and here I was feeling depressed and melancholic. My latest purchase has couldn’t make me happy like them.

I felt wretched.

Then I saw a little girl walking and jumping with a bunch of hydrogen balloons.

She walked towards me and I thought i would buy them all.Maybe that will make me happy.Maybe.

I enquired about the price.She communicated it to me in her language.To ensure I have understood correctly I repeated the same in hindi but she didn’t understand that.I asked her how many ballons she has she counted total 14 of them.I showed her 100 rupees for 10 of those and she asked ” Hundred for all?”.She knowd people bargaing and maybe I wanted 14 balloons for hundred rupees.Her face showed she cant make that deal.I explained to her that I want 10 only.

She counted 10 and them to me.I asked her should I flow them away..She surprisingly asked ” udaane hai?”.I nodded my head in affirmation I asked her whether she wants to do that.She handed them to me and asked me to do that.Her face showed she didnt trust what I said and mayb if she flew them I wouldnt pay her.

My heary went out to her.A six or seven year old girl is so wary of the world.What all things she must have encountered in her few years in the world where she feels she can be cheated anytime by anybody.

How less she believes in humanity!

Who is responsible for this?

I blew them away and I prayed that she for one moment should have felt happiness to see them go up in the sky and accomplished after successfully selling ten of her Fourteen balloons.

Was I happy? I guess I was.

According to me even when we think we are helping others and doing things for others selflessly it is our selfish self which makes us do “good”things.Because in the end it makes us happy.

That was my selfish act for my own happiness.